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Like the phoenix that bursts into flames, burns to ash and rises to begin life again, I have started over a lot.  That’s sort of the whole theme of this blog (Phoenix Diaries—get it?)  Going down in flames and pulling myself up to start again from ash has taught me the greatest lessons of my life.  In my short 39 years, I’ve left an entire life behind on one continent and started anew on another.  I’ve ended a marriage that wasn’t working and stepped into pain and uncertainty to find true love and compatibility on the other side.  I’ve walked away from a lucrative legal career to be a stay-at-home mom, created a kickass home-based business as a direct seller and then moved on to become a blogger extraordinaire.  I’ve let go of perfectionism to embrace raw, vulnerable beingness.  (That one is an ongoing lesson, I’ll be the first to admit).  

People ask me all the time how I’m able to begin again and again and continually see success.   

The answer came to me one day when I was kayaking, something I only do once a year. I had stopped paddling so that Emma and I could enjoy the view for a moment.  It was a beautiful day in Sanibel and, despite the light breeze, the water was totally flat, like glass. After a few minutes, Emma turned back to look at me.  

“Can we try to catch up with Daddy and Ryan now, Mommy?”

“Sure,” I said, dipping my paddle into the water.  The nose of our kayak had slowly drifted off course while we had been still and I now needed to turn us.  But, to my surprise, it was like rowing through mud. I couldn’t believe how strenuous it was to change directions.  

Eventually, though, thanks to my super duper strong shoulder muscles, we got going.  Once we were gliding again, turning the kayak was a breeze. That’s when it hit me:  

It’s much easier to change directions when you’re moving than it is from a dead stop.  

And that, my friends, is the reason I’m able to see success each time I’ve started over.  Quite simply, it’s because I’m willing to dig in and start moving.  Most of us are so scared of what could happen if we start something new that we remain stationary, paddle poised over the water but never breaking the surface.  The uncertainty is paralyzing.

As time passes, the thought of moving gets scarier and scarier. We worry that we won’t be able to go in the direction we want to.  We fear that we won’t know what the second step should be.   

But here’s the thing, girlfriend.

You don’t need to know what the second step will be to make the first one.  Once you start, the next step will reveal itself.  

If it turns out you take a “wrong” step along the way, just change directions.  Likely, the reason you created the experience of the “wrong” step anyway is so you could reveal to yourself in no uncertain terms what you need to shift.  And, like my experience in the kayak, because you’re already moving, changing directions will be a lot easier than it was to begin in the first place.  

I know, I know.  Time for a You-Can’t Monster check, because right now yours is making a nasty face and saying, “Easier said than done!”  Well, as my friend Chris Ruden would say, “Done is better than said.” As Chris points out, and you have to agree, everything that requires action—literally everything—is easier said than done.   Is it easier to say you’re going to wash your hair than it is to actually wash it?  Yep. Just like it was easier to say I wanted to be in a healthy, loving relationship than it was to pack my things, move out and file for divorce.  

So, as Phoenixes, let’s stop using that phrase as a crutch. Just because it’s easier to say something than it is to do it doesn’t mean it can’t be done.  

And guess what?  It will probably be hard at first, like my first drags of the paddle through the water that day.  Starting over has been exactly like that for me—every time, it’s hard. But I keep going. And every time, the next step reveals itself.

Now, here’s where stuff gets real.  

The reason I’m writing this post is because I need a little smack on the tush. I myself want to start something new—my podcast—and I am absolutely terrified about taking the first step.  TERRIFIED. 

I’m afraid I won’t know what I’m doing. I’m afraid no one will tune in. I’m afraid it won’t be good. You know, the usual.

In an effort to get myself going, I’ve socialized my goal and told the world about it on social media.  I’ve interviewed other podcasters to get advice on hosting platforms, which microphone to use and how to get on iTunes. In other words, I actually know what the first few steps are in this instance!  And yet I find myself sitting here, stationary, months later. 

So trust me, you’re not alone if you feel like you’ve been standing at the precipice for awhile, wanting to jump into your dream yet holding yourself back in sheer terror of what will happen next.  But what you and I both need to remember right now is that great things never came from comfort zones. The magic happens out there, beyond the precipice.

Jen Sincero, author of You are a Badass, once said,

“You are the only you there is and ever will be. Do not deny the world its one and only chance to bask in your brilliance.”

Words to live by, don’t you think? Truly, where would we all be if our heroes who came before us never took that first step? You and I might not even have an iPhone or an iPad on which to read this post!

Wherever you’re holding yourself back, the way I’m holding myself back from launching the podcast, just start.  Drag your paddle through that water. You cannot forget that you are destined for greatness, even when it’s terrifying and hard.

Because you know what, girlfriend?  You can do hard things. (And yes, I’m talking to myself, too).

Mark my words: the Phoenix Diaries podcast will be up and streaming within 60 days of this blog post because I am taking the first step today! Wanna take our first steps together? Give me a shout and let me know what you’re working on.

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