Do you remember that part in Moana when she’s out on the ocean, lost and alone, searching for Maui?  (Well, even if you don’t, or you have no idea who I’m talking about because you aren’t forced by young humans to repeatedly watch Disney movies, stay with me.  This is good stuff).  

Maui, of course, is a demi-god no one has seen in like, hundreds of years.  Moana has absolutely no idea how she’s going to complete such a monumental task, having essentially set sail with only a seashell necklace and an idiot chicken to guide her.  And so, in a moment of desperate faith, she calls on the ocean for help.  

The ensuing result is a tumultuous storm that tosses her and her tiny raft from wave to giant wave while she hangs on for her life in terror.  The next morning, she finds herself shipwrecked on an island, frazzled and disoriented and seemingly no closer to finding Maui. Furious, she curses the ocean for toying with her, adding at the end of her assault, “Fish pee in you!  All day!”

But in the next moment, who does she discover just happens to be stranded on that island too? 

Maui.  

The ocean delivered after all.  

Wow.  Did anyone else feel that two-by-four smack upside the head?  The metaphor struck me immediately and left me covered in goosebumps, blinking back tears.  It’s a powerful illustration of real life, dontcha think? 

Sometimes the fastest way to get from where you are to where you need to be is through a total sh*tstorm.  

A profound truth, if I do say so myself.  An epiphany, even. Haven’t you ever been through an awful situation, only to realize months or years later that it was “a blessing in disguise?”  (That’s obviously a rhetorical question because, duh, of course you have).  

Reflecting on my own life, I can see clearly—years and years later—that my divorce from my first husband was one of those blessed storms, intended to take me from a toxic relationship into an ideal one.  One in which fairytale romance is real.  One in which passion does not wane.  One in which God is ever-present. One that produced two children who are living, breathing manifestations of our intense love for one another.  

And more recently, it has also become clear that I asked for the storm, just like Moana did.  I didn’t realize it at the time, of course (who ever does?).  Nonetheless, it was indeed my own, unconscious creation. I like to think of it as my true self reaching out her hand and saying, Come on, girlfriend.  I know a shortcut. Just don’t let go of my hand because this is gonna get ugly.  

So don’t.  Don’t let go of her hand.  Settle in and relax into the storm you’ve created by staying present with every single wave.  Don’t resist it, don’t curse it. Don’t shut your eyes and wish it wasn’t happening. Obviously, you need to experience it.  After all, it’s taking you exactly where you want to go.  

With the benefit of hindsight and some self-discovery training, I’m able to see that it was silly to wish my ex-husband and I had never met, as I once used to.  There was a time when I was desperate to erase us, wishing I could have avoided the pain and humiliation of making what seemed like such a grave mistake.  

But now I know all that wishing was a disservice to my highest and best self.   The pain and humiliation I experienced had immense value. I learned who I am and what I can give myself.  I learned what I can take from life. 

And from that place, I appreciate the good I took from the relationship.  My ex-husband encouraged me to put myself through law school. The raw and simple truth is that I would never have gone if it weren’t for him. At 23 years old, I believed my parents would pay for my tuition, and when they told me they couldn’t, I thought that was simply the end of that.  But not him. He helped me see I could do it myself, and that decision changed the trajectory of my entire life.  

I’m grateful for the storms in my life now.  They have each made me that much more powerful.  (Oh, and speaking of power, did you ever notice how every superhero there ever was had to overcome some kind of adversity on their way to becoming great?  Dead parents, lost love, kidnapped children, terrorism, war—the list of tragedies is endless. You never read about a superhero who had a cushy life filled with love and devoid of problems and then, poof!  They became a superhero! Nope, and you never will. They must endure the storm first. But alas, I digress).  

Listen, I’m not saying your life should be some constant, painful grind.  You should strive to create freedom, flow and joy, always. But when you hit your stuff along the way, remember The Moana Principle.  

And while you’re intentionally riding out the storm, remember that you got this, girlfriend.  

Betcha never knew a Disney movie could be so deep, huh?